End of Decade Blowout pt 4: Top 60 Singles, 15-1

Here's the top 15 singles. Oh, the excitement.

15. Alcazar - "This Is the World We Live In"
Year: 2004
Chart Peak: n/a (#15 UK)
Youtube: "This Is the World We Live In"
Commentary: For pure silly fun, I think this may be the best of the decade (behind just one other song, coming up in two spots). Really silly lyrics, and music/melody that's just a mashup of "Upside Down" and "Land of Confusion" but it all works so well. The "Inside Out" beat is amazing, especially translated to a Europop context, the chorus works better than any Genesis chorus should, and "When you're moving up with Alcazar" is so catchy. About 100x better than it has any right to be.

14. Jordin Sparks ft. Chris Brown - "No Air"
Year: 2008
Chart Peak: #3
Youtube: "No Air"
Commentary: The air of aching depression on this song gives it a great emotional weight, and then when you add on a gorgeous midtempo ballad melody and give it to just about the two best pop singers right now you end up with a really great ballad. There's nothing particularly to this song, it just all adds up so well to create as thick a set of emotions as any song this decade is capable of producing.

13. 'N Sync - "Bye Bye Bye"
Year: 2000
Chart Peak: #4 (#1 Pop)
Youtube: "Bye Bye Bye"
Commentary: Totally iconic, and deservedly so. Really silly that this just hit #4, but here it is. I'm not going to pretend there's some kind of incredible depth to this one, but the melody, the video, and the chorus are all-time classics. OK, maybe the boy band movement hasn't aged to well and isn't remembered too fondly today, but this is an all-time pop classic! Plus it was used hilariously in possibly my all time favorite Scrubs scene.

12. Amy Diamond - "Don't Cry Your Heart Out"
Year: 2006
Chart Peak: n/a
Youtube: "Don't Cry Your Heart Out"
Commentary: Even in the pop community, there doesn't seem to be any huge groundswell of support for this song. I may actually be the biggest fan of this song in the whole world. Well I say screw everybody else this song is straight out amazing. Amy's singing has never been better, and the melody and lyrics are both really great! The "then you SEE then you KNOW that you REAP what you SOW" part is my favorite part of this song, and maybe my favorite part of any song this decade. Also don't miss the live acoustic version found here. (talk about awkward dancing)

11. Kylie Minogue - "Love at First Sight"
Year: 2002
Chart Peak: #22
Youtube: "Love at First Sight"
Commentary: Kylie Minogue was just about as massive, in terms of widespread love and critical acclaim, as any pop act this decade for a while. It seems most of the Kylie love these days goes to "Can't Get You Out of My Head", which, to be sure, is an outstanding pop song. I prefer, though, the pure overloaded pop bliss of "Love at First Sight", a true banger which demands attention.

(At this point, the reader may wish to pause to guess the top 10. I bet you can't.)

10. Eminem - "The Real Slim Shady"
Year: 2000
Chart Peak: #4
Youtube: "The Real Slim Shady"
Commentary: Like "Bye Bye Bye", this gets a little extra credit for being a genuine cultural milestone, while still being an amazing song. The lyrics are clever and funny, though a bit dated, Eminem's rapping and beats are great as usual. This is a song that made Eminem a huge superstar, and all it takes is one listen to tell that it was inevitable all along.

9. Sara Evans - "Suds in the Bucket"
Year: 2004
Chart Peak: #33 (#1 Country)
Youtube: "Suds in the Bucket"
Commentary: Other than No Place That Far (which was 1998 anyways), Sara has yet to release a truly great album start to finish. But, she has been one of the best, maybe the very best overall, country singles artists of the decade. And this ode to eloping is probably her best song, thanks to a very nice melody and just a generally extremely fun atmosphere.

8. Lillix - "Sweet Temptation (Hollow)"
Year: 2006
Chart Peak: n/a
Youtube: "Sweet Temptation (Hollow)"
Commentary: It's got the catchiest melody+music of the decade, and it has the best hooks of the decade. The singing isn't anything super special, and the lyrics are nonsense, so it doesn't rank any higher than this, but this could well be the song I most enjoy to listen to, out of all the songs listed.

7. Hilary Duff - "Come Clean"
Year: 2004
Chart Peak: #35
Youtube: "Come Clean"
Commentary: I think that if this song wasn't by Hilary Duff, and therefore didn't have all of the attendant baggage, it would be today generally recognized as a pop classic. Because Hilary's ultra-thin voice and the ultra-thin melody are both absolutely perfect for the fragility of the lyrics, and all in all, it's a very impressively put together song. Plus a kicking chorus.

6. Rachel Stevens - "I Said Never Again (But Here We Are)"
Year: 2005
Chart Peak: n/a (#12 UK)
Youtube: "I Said Never Again (But Here We Are)"
Commentary: I love the lyrics to this song, as kind of a flipside to the lyrics for "I May Hate Myself in the Morning", and there's no doubt that the melody is massive. It's the best song on my #2 album of the decade, an album filled to the brim with classic pop singles, and this one manages to outshine them all.

5. Daft Punk - "Digital Love"
Year: 2001
Chart Peak: n/a (#9 US Dance Play)
Youtube: "Digital Love"
Commentary: This is the very best sample of the whole decade, I could listen to it loop on and on forever. The robotic melody is also really great, and that's combined with very sweet love song lyrics. This song is a stunning triumph on all levels.

4. The White Stripes - "Fell in Love with a Girl"
Year: 2002
Chart Peak: n/a (#12 Modern Rock)
Youtube: "Fell in Love with a Girl"
Commentary: I find it hard to say much about this song, given that it's on everybody's decade best list, and probably for the same reasons. The incredibly powerful and driving rock melody and guitars, the excellent lyrics, the all-time classic video, etc. I have nothing to add

3. Miley Cyrus - "See You Again"
Year: 2007
Chart Peak: #10
Youtube: "See You Again"
Commentary: The best pure melody of the decade (well, maybe "Moi...Lolita). And NOT ONLY that, but it features Miley's best ever vocal performance, by far. The whole chorus is just pure musical genius. Best part is still "My best friend Leslie says 'Oh she's just being Miley'."

2. Franz Ferdinand - "Take Me Out"
Year: 2004
Chart Peak: #66 (#3 Modern Rock)
Youtube: "Take Me Out"
Commentary: Clearly, the reason this is up here is that I am a SHAMELESS INDIE. My relationship to this song has been complicated over the years, but I have finally just given in to the power. Yes, yes yes, best guitar riff of the decade, good chorus, amazing intro, etc. This seems to have fallen somewhat out of favor lately, but it still sounds great to me.

1. Michelle Branch - "Everywhere"
Year: 2001
Chart Peak: #12
Youtube: "Everywhere"
Commentary: Yes, this is really my favorite single of the decade and no I'm not even going to try to justify it. Sure, I could talk about the amazing chorus, the great lyrics, the huge influence, etc. but ultimately it's just my favorite. I could just listen to this song over and over and over again, and it just never gets old. A fact which, by the way, I know from personal experience.

The Full List:
60. Wu Tang Clan - "Gravel Pit"
59. Guided by Voices - "The Best of Jill Hives"
58. Kanye West - "Through the Wire"
57. Fall Out Boy - "The Takeover, the Break's Over"
56. Nelly Furtado - "Say It Right"
55. Junior Senior - "Move Your Feet"
54. Alicia Keys - "Fallin'"
53. The Bloodhound Gang - "The Bad Touch"
52. Ashlee Simpson - "La La"
51. Carrie Underwood - "Before He Cheats"
50. Avril Lavigne - "Complicated"
49. Wheatus - "Teenage Dirtbag"
48. The Sugababes - "About You Now"
47. Backstreet Boys - "The Call"
46. David Banner - "Cadillac on 22s"
45. Electric Six - "Danger! High Voltage"
44. Martina McBride - "This One's for the Girls"
43. Jennifer Lopez ft. Ja Rule - "I'm Real (Murder Remix)"
42. Ashlee Simpson - "Little Miss Obsessive"
41. Girls Aloud - "Love Machine"
40. System of the Down - "Chop Suey!"
39. Nelly ft. Kelly Rowland - "Dilemma"
38. Phoenix - "If I Ever Feel Better"
37. Cam'ron - "Hey Ma"
36. Mint Royale ft. Pos - "Show Me"
35. Natasha Bedingfield - "I Wanna Have Your Babies"
34. Destiny's Child - "Survivor"
33. Beyonce - "Irreplaceable"
32. Charlotte Church - "Moodswings (to Come at Me Like That)"
31. Spoon - "The Underdog"
30. Marit Larsen - "Only a Fool"
29. Kelly Clarkson - "Behind These Hazel Eyes"
28. Eminem - "Stan"
27. Aly & AJ - "Rush"
26. Anna Nalick - "Breathe (2AM)"
25. A*Teens - "Floorfiller"
24. Keith Urban - "Stupid Boy"
23. The New Pornographers - "Letter from an Occupant"
22. Rachel Stevens - "Sweet Dreams My LA Ex"
21. Shooter Jennings - "4th of July"
20. Alizee - "Moi...Lolita"
19. Lee Ann Womack - "I May Hate Myself in the Morning"
18. Annie - "Heartbeat"
17. Twista ft. Jamie Foxx and Kanye West - "Slow Jamz"
16. t.A.T.u. - "All the Things She Said"
15. Alcazar - "This is the World We Live In"
14. Jordin Sparks ft. Chris Brown - "No Air"
13. 'N Sync - "Bye Bye Bye"
12. Amy Diamond - "Don't Cry Your Heart Out"
11. Kylie Minogue - "Love at First Sight"
10. Eminem - "The Real Slim Shady
9. Sara Evans - "Suds in the Bucket"
8. Lillix - "Sweet Temptation (Hollow)"
7. Hilary Duff - "Come Clean"
6. Rachel Stevens - "I Said Never Again (But Here We Are)"
5. Daft Punk - "Digital Love"
4. The White Stripes - "Fell in Love with a Girl"
3. Miley Cyrus - "See You Again"
2. Franz Ferdinand - "Take Me Out"
1. Michele Branch - "Everywhere"

Back from the Grave

Just wanted to bump that damn American Idol post off the top of the page, staring and laughing at me. In reality, I haven't had internet connection at home for the past 10 days, which explains the lack of posts. I've had a couple ideas for posts in the interim, so expect some action over the next few days. I won't make any promises, per se, because I've made enough failed promises on this blog already. OK, to steal an idea blatantly from Frank K, here are my top 10 singles of 2007 thus far (an attempt to redeem this post slightly):

1. Natasha Bedingfield - "Babies": Completely mental lyrics, the "Babies, babies, babies, babies" part is completely bonkers, the main hook is "mm mm mm mm mm mm" (Crash Test Dummies!) and the whole thing never really comes together. But it's still brilliant! Good misdirection to the chorus (lyrically), where it seems like it's gonna be a simple declaration of love. Lyrics are funny and great.

2. Toby Keith - "High Maintenance Woman": Hilarious! "A high maintenance woman don't want no maintenance man". Great vocals, as always. Toby Keith has shown a remarkable knack for writing lyrics with funny lyrics and extremely catchy melody, and this goes right in that vein (erm, "As Good As I Once Was", "I Love This Bar", et al). Main hook can get stuck in your head for days, but in a good way! Right up there with Toby Keith's best work. If he can combine great hit singles like this with the remarkable consistency of White Trash With Money perhaps we can get a great album from the guy.

3. My Chemical Romance - "Famous Last Words": It starts out fairly standard, but ends up being nothing short of a genuine rock epic, weaving about 3 or 4 different, equally big, parts together with a great deftness, and all 3 or 4 parts are great, especially the main chorus! It sneaks up on you, but once it hits, it hits hard: emo-rock has met its peak with this song.

[The top 3 songs are all so close in quality and so different that there's no meaningful separation between them. I've listed them like this, but I keep changing my mind! In any event they are all equal, and will likely all be in my Top 20 or close to it.]

4. Vanessa Hudgens - "Say OK": A beautiful ballad. After "Come Back to Me" I had basically, unfairly, written off her entire musical career, but this song knocked me out. A great vocal performance from Baby V here, as her piercing voice just adds a lot of beauty here. Not much going on in the lyrics here, but I can forgive it for the catchiness and prettiness.

5. Hilary Duff - "With Love": It was hyped that the new Hilary Duff album would be more Eurodance, but this sounds like a pretty standard American R&B song to me. Hilary’s voice is filling out as she gets older, but it’s still remarkably thin. But in any event, it’s a super catchy song with a great and original melody, and that forgives all manner of sins. Markedly inferior, however, to “Play With Fire”.

6. Sophie Ellis-Bextor - "Catch You": This sounds appealingly like an electro cover of a great Blondie song that never was. Nice lyrics/music synergy here as this song just SOUNDS like the soundtrack to a high-energy chase. The catchiest melody and music of the brief year to this point and great stalkerish lyrics make this a refreshingly original pop tune that puts a good start on 2007, after British pop's rather weak 2006. (Kickass video too)

7. Ashley Tisdale - "He Said, She Said": Ashley's not a very strong singer, which does hurt this song a bit, but the production and main hook are so catchy they can overcome it. Ashley's album was really inconsistent, but the best of it is quite good indeed. And this is her best effort.

8. Christina Aguilera - "Candyman": Normally I don't go much for the retro sound, but I dig the crazy lyrics here a lot, and that plus the hook are enough for me. And the video! So, yeah, it's rather simplistic and maybe even a bit annoying, but it's my second favorite song on Xtina's last album, and this is one of her best vocal performances ever. She totally sells the ridiculousness of the song.

9. Katharine McPhee - "Over It": The song has the same songwriters and the exact same general sound as Jojo’s “Too Little, Too Late”, which makes it easy to dismiss. But it also has a great melody, conveying the sadness of the lyrics very well. Alas, the lyrics and vocal performance aren’t quite up to the wistful beauty of the music, but they are still pretty good and that “Too Little, Too Late” formula just works so well that it can drive at least a few more great songs. Still the best "Over It" of the year.

[All songs above this comment are 8/10 or better...songs 1-3 are 9/10 and will strongly contend for top 2o singles of the year, songs 4-8 are 8/10 and will strongly contend for top 50 singles of the year. What really separates the 8/10 songs from the 9/10 songs here is lyrics.]

10. Avril Lavigne - "Girlfriend": I want to like it more than I do but the whole thing bugs me. I like the lyrics a lot, but the main hook is kind annoying and I dislike the video so much that it is seriously hampering my enjoyment of the song. Well below the level of Avril's best work ("Complicated", "My Happy Ending", "He Wasn't", et al). But obviously, I still like the song, or else it wouldn't be up here.

Song Analysis: Hilary Duff - "So Yesterday"

I urge everybody to check out "Take a Walk" by Sara Paxton, currently linked in my sidebar, if you don't know it already.

In some ways, "So Yesterday" is a pretty important song in my musical autobiography, and I liked it at the time for very specific reasons I'll get into below. Before I get into it, really briefly on American Idol (I'll post a full update on my thoughts in another week or 2 once the chaff [Paul Kim] is gone and we've seen a few more performances).

The guys: Liked Blake, Chris Sligh and Brandon Rogers were OK but kinda boring, didn't really care for any of the others. One of the weakest AI shows I've ever seen. Sanjaya has the least stage performance I've ever seen in an American Idol contestant, it truly is stunning. Let's see if his cuteness carries him through. Favorites: Blake; Voted For: Nobody; Would Like to See Go Home: Sundance and Paul Kim

The girls: Wow, way better than the guys. But extremely retro. I generally have liked the more current voices among American Idol contestants, but the group is just so talented. Agreed with the judges for the most part: Lakisha, Melinda, Jordin, and Steph all very good. I thought the judges went a bit overboard in their Lakisha praise. My problem with Lakisha is that I don't like that song and I still have a lot of trouble emotionally connecting with that type of singing. Only counterexamples I can think of are Mariah and "I Will Always Love You" (not even Aretha, really). In any event, I liked Melinda better. I liked Gina a lot, though she was a little off pitch. Antonella was awful, I've done a complete 180 on her. I really, really like Leslie Hunt, even though her performance wasn't the best; I love her for real crazy personality. She's not the best performer, but it's good to see some vocal restraint UITP, I like her smoky voice a lot, and she's the most entertaining remaining contestant, to me at least. Favorites: Melinda, Jordin, Leslie, Gina; Voted For: Leslie (I felt like she needed my help); Want to See Go Home: Antonella, Nicole

That went on a little longer than intended, here's the main content:

Lyrics:
You can change your life (if you wanna)
You can change your clothes (if you wanna)
If you change your mind
Well that's the way it goes
But I am gonna keep your jeans
and your old black hat (cause I wanna)
They look good on me
You're never gonna get them back

At least not today, not today, not today

Chorus:
If it's over let it go and
Come tomorrow it will seem
So yesterday, so yesterday
I'm just a bird that's already flown away
Laugh it off and let it go and
when you wake up it will seem
So yesterday, so yesterday
Haven't you heard that I'm gonna be OK

You can say you're bored (if you wanna)
You can act real tough (if you wanna)
You can say you're torn
But I've heard enough
Thank you, you made my mind up for me
When you started to ignore me
Will you see a single tear?
It isn't gonna happen here.

At least not today, not today, not today

CHORUS

If you're over me I'm already over you
If it's all been done what is left to do
How can you hang up if the line is dead
If you wanna walk I will step ahead
If you're moving on I'm already gone
If the light is off then it isn't on

At least not today, not today, not today

CHORUS

Song Analysis/Comments: Seemingly very simple and straightforward lyrics, that are rather easy to interpret. Which they are. Clearly, her boyfriend isn't paying very much attention to her, so she's decided to pre-emptively break up with him. She's made up her mind and is telling him to go ahead and get over it now. Very Kelly Clarkson-ish, and I actually like the lyrics to this one. Simple, but very effective. Now for story time, and we can see why I chose this song for a song analysis.

This was Hilary Duff's third "Disney single", by my recollection, following "I Can't Wait" and "Why Not". At the time this song came out (2003) I was in college, and I would pretty regularly watch repeats of Even Stevens and Lizzie Mcguire, having largely missed the boat on these shows earlier. And they would show the videos for those songs a whole lot. Remember, Hilary Duff was their first big breakout star, and they were pushing her music career hard. Anyways, I really disliked both songs, as I was very indie at the time. (Still don't like "Why Not", "I Can't Wait" is pretty good). My initial reaction to "So Yesterday" was the same: stupid pop crap. But then, I slowly started to like it. Finally, I had to admit to myself that it was a good song, which horrified me. It was a small but significant step to my curret poptimism/teenpoptimism.

What I loved about the song then, and still love now, and what I want to talk about, is the "At least not today, not today, not today" part. The first verse builds up with very definitive lyrics. We start by noting that he can change whatever he wants and it's not gonna help him get her back. Nosiree, she's made up her mind. Not only that, but she's stealing your stuff too, and you are gonna like it. Very self-assured, harsh lyrics, and Hilary delivers them with the best self-assured sneer she can muster up. Which is kinda cute. The musical tone of the acoustic guitar then lightens up significantly as we get to "At least not today, not today, not today". Ha, this is somebody trying to convince herself she's made up her mind. She knows he's bad for her but can't let go. Interesting to note there's significant overdubbed harmony on this line too, which also softens it up a lot. Makes it sound very vulnerable.

The second verse is even more so. "Will you see a single tear? It isn't gonna happen here." Not even sad! Well, at least not today! What I like about the line at all is that it inserts a nice bit of vulerability in a song into an otherwise straight ahead breakup number. Which, in my opinion at least, makes it more real and allows me to connect with it more. I can really empathize with Hilary here, wanting to do the right thing, and forcing yourself to pretend that you have enough strength to do it. Welling all your strength up into doing the action itself, and leaving none behind for the aftermath.

Many songs seem to just pick one mood and go with it. Like "I'm over you" or "I still love you" or "I wish you loved me" or whatever. But I think it's more real when there's several emotions swimming together in your mind together. Which is why I love "Moodswings" so much, incidentally. Rather than integrate the several moods into the course of the song though, like "Moodswings" or "Hear Me", the song just provides a bit of self doubt as a counterbalance to the anger in the rest of the song. So rather than having wishy-washy "I wanna break up with you because you don't like me much, but I'm not too sure and I still like you and...", they convey each emotion separately, in turn. And that's the kind of crap I love, injecting a whole new layer of meaning on top of a song with just one simple line! Of course, if it's not executed perfectly, that's also the kind of thing that can come back to bite you. But I'd say they convey the vulnerability and woundedness of her rather perfectly with the line.

These days I like a lot more about the song than just that one line, and I'm relatively unashamed to admit my Duff love, but it's still what propels the song into greatness for me.

FINAL RATING: The song has an extremely catchy melody and deceptively deep, complex lyrics. It's not as good as "Come Clean" or "Fly", but it's up there. 9.5/10.

Final Year End Listamania

Year End Miscellany:

Contrary to previous posts I've decided to forgo a top 10 albums list this year. The reason being that I am laughably behind in album listening this year. By the time I get around to processing all of the albums there's a good chance that I'll like from this year, it will be well beyond the point at which it would be reasonable to release a 2006 year in review list. There are about 5 albums this year that I am pretty confident will make my top 10 this year, when I've finally processed all the relevant albums. They are, in approximately this order, Amy Diamond's Still Me Still Now Marit Larsen's Under the Surface Gothic Archies' The Tragic Treasury Paris Hilton's Paris and Ciara's The Evolution. You could call that a top 5, I guess, except that there are in all likelihood at least one (maybe more) albums I have yet to listen to that might make the top 5, and I'm still processing Ciara, and she might move up. I'm pretty confident in declaring Amy Diamond's Still Me Still Now as the album of the year, at this point. Top 5 artists of the year: Aly & AJ, Miley Cyrus, Dr. Luke, Amy Diamond, Fergie. Fergie, not because she made the best music of anybody not above her, but because she managed to shatter my previous extreme hatred of her prior to this year, which was a remarkable accomplishment. I'm counting Miley's TV work, which may be unfair, but it is what it is. And it's better for Aly & AJ overall if I don't count Cow Belles. I do count Aly's work on Phil of the Future because as explained I consider that to be a key part of their image, but it doesn't matter because they'd rank number 1 without it anyways. And like I said before I didn't even see 10 movies this year, but my favorite movie that I DID see was, of course, High School Musical with The Departed being the best real movie that I saw.

So congrats to Lillix, The 4400, Amy Diamond, Aly & AJ, and High School Musical for winning all the TCR awards this year.

Top 11 Things to Look Forward to in 2007

OK with all year end content out of the way, let's look forward instead of backwards and see what we have to look forward to in 2007. Unlike all the prior year in review stuff, I will confine this to the theme of my blog. So it's solely things in the entertainment media that are in a broad sense relevant to teen culture. This is for entertainment purposes only, I'm just basing this on what I know for a fact is coming out in 2007, with little research to figure out what else is gonna be out. TV and movies, for whatever reason tend to take me by surprise more than music, so there is more music on this list than the other two. OK, with those caveats, here goes:

11. Ashely Tisdale
Coming out with a new album in 2007, starring in High School Musical 2 and The Suite Life of Zack & Cody, 2007 looks like it may be an even better year for The Tis than 2006 was. She was always my favorite of the HSM stars, and while her new singles aren't outstanding, they are pretty good, and I'm certainly looking forward to seeing what she has in store for us in 2007. Her acting will, I'm sure, be excellent as always, though wasted on the cesspool that is The Suite Life

10. Jordan Pruitt - No Ordinary Girl
The full album by Jordan Pruitt promises to be a good one, as I've enjoyed all the songs she's released so far, though to varying degrees. I can only hope they are going more with the confessional sound of "Outside Looking In" than the R&B sounds of her other songs.

9. Natasha Bedingfield - Blank Canvas
Her first album, Unwritten, is not impossibly one of my top 10 albums of the 2000's, and it spawned several great singles. Including the title track, which was one of my 10 favorite singles of 2005. I have no particular reason to think that this one will be inferior to her debut, but for whatever reason I am not super psyched for this release. Still, for all my (possibly unfounded) doubts that this one will rise to the heights of her debut, I'm obviously looking forward to this release by one of my favorite current British pop stars (probably my second favorite, behind Rachel Stevens. [Hey when's her comeback gonna be?])

8. New Brie Larson Album
Contrary to the above, I'm actually not 100% sure that this is coming out in 2007. But I'm listing it anyways because I think it is and I love Brie Larson. Anyways, even though her last album wasn't great, the three tracks she's since posted on her Myspace ("Coming Around" [Greg's #28 single of the year], "Stilts and the Titanic" and a cover of "A Day in the Life") have all been better than any of the songs on her first album. This, plus the great writing on her blog, makes me extremely excited for the full new album to be released.

7. Hannah Montana
New season of the show and new songs? Awesome! I guess I'm not 100% sure that new Hannah Montana songs will be released in 2007, which is why this doesn't rank higher, but it's probably a safe assumption. The new season of Hannah Montana, presumably featuring the return of Jake Ryan and showcasing improved acting talents from the kids, promises to be superior to the first year of the show. My number 2 artist of 2006 may well by my number 1 artist of 2007 if she is able to keep up.

6. Nancy Drew
I've hardly seen a movie with more disparagingly negative comments about it prior to its release. Everywhere that I've read about it has been an attack on the proposed casting of the roles. Apparently they are cast too young or against type or whatever. I don't know and I don't care because I never have and never intend to read a Nancy Drew book. Mystery movies and books bore me. BUT, this movie stars Emma Roberts as Nancy, and Kay Panabaker and Amy Bruckner as her best friends, so I'm extremely excited for it. Kay Panabaker doesn't have much to make me excited for 2007, just this movie a mediocre looking horse movie called Moondance Alexander (that I surely will nonetheless see on opening day) and a likely straight to DVD release of an update of the Prince and the Pauper starring the Sprouse twins. A fairly weak slate, but she plus Emma make this movie one that I am marking in my calendar.

5. New Hilary Duff album
Hilary has yet to release a consistently great album, and I have no reason to think that this will be the one. But she has been a consistently great singles artist, and her two albums so far have all featured several excellent songs. Even Most Wanted had a great original ("Wake Up") and a pretty good original ("Beat of My Heart"). "Play With Fire" was amazing, "With Love" sounds pretty good, and there's no reason to think there won't be at least a couple other songs on this new album that I will absolutely love. I can't wait.

4. High School Musical 2
Well, I have my doubts that they will be able to re-capture the magic of the first movie, but how could I not be really excited for this film. Will it be as effortlessly enjoyable as the first movie? Will it spawn another single as great as "Breaking Free"? Who knows! Like I said, I have my doubts, but I certainly hope so, and I'm certainly looking forward to finding out. The whole main four of the cast is great, so if nothing else, I'm sure they will salvage entertainment out of the film.

3. Season 3 of Unfabulous
My favorite teen/tween TV show currently on the air returns for a third season this year, delayed way too long since the end of season 2. Season 2 ended on a high note with Addie and Jake getting together. I hope they can run with that and produce a season even better than they've gotten so far, propelling this into the list of the truly great shows of its type, such as Phil of the Future. OK, maybe that's not very likely. But as long as it's got Emma Roberts on board it's gonna stay one of the most entertaining shows on television.

2. New Aly & AJ album
You know what, I think I've finally written enough about them. Please though let this be their first consistently great album.

1. New Kelly Clarkson album
The number one slot on this list was a lock before the list was even drawn up. Breakaway remains, as I have noted several times before, my favorite album of the decade to this point (Come and Get It is close). The new songs that she's debuted on tour, including "Maybe" and "Anymore" have been absolutely amazing. So, I'll conveniently ignore that the most recent song she's released, a song called "Go" written for Ford, was completely mediocre. There is not a piece of entertainment media that I have ever looked forward to as much as I am looking forward to this.

Of course, I'm sure most of my favorites by year-end won't be represented on this list, but that's part of the fun! We can check how good my predictions were later.

Top 50 Singles of 2006

I said I'd wait until 2007 before I made another post, but, hell, I'm sitting at home sick and don't really have anything better to do.

Here is my list of my top 50 favorite singles of 2006. So thus, it had to be released as a single this year, and though there are some with questionable eligibility, there is no out-and-out cheating. So, no "Not This Year" et al. Maybe later I'll make a post on the songs of 2006 that would have made the top 50 but for lack of eligibility. This considers all singles in 2006, teenpop or no, so let's just set aside the blog's theme for now. Presented with minimal commentary. If you're really curious what I have to say about a song with no commentary you can noodle around the blog and you'll probably find it. Or else leave a comment or email, of course.

I want to say that this was an excellent year for singles (much better than 2005 and 2004, less strong at the top than 2003 but just as deep). I really had to squeeze to get it down to 50, and I left some great stuff out. So if a song's not listed here that doesn't mean I don't like it. Pretty much every song here is ranked lower than I feel it should be, but that's the way it is in a deep year.

TCR TOP 50 SINGLES OF 2006:

50. Toby Keith - "A Little Too Late"
Most (all?) of Toby's previous great singles have been uptempo rockin' ravers ("How Do You Like Me Now", "As Good As I Once Was"), but this is a catchy ballad! Good work Toby.
49. Kelly Clarkson - "Walk Away"
My least favorite single off Breakway, but still a great song. I would have preferred "Gone" or "Addicted"
48. CSS - "Let's Make Love and Listen Death From Above"
A really great pop song that edges out many other top 50 contenders because of its originality. For a pop song, it's not catchy enough and doesn't have good enough lyrics to merit a higher spot than this. That being said numbers 38 or so to 50 are incredibly tightly bunched.
47. Peter Bjorn & John - "Young Foks"
Sometimes the indie crowd IS right after all. That being said, this song is worse than it could be (Kogan terminology: The band is at war with their talents). I wish a proper pop band would do a cover of it. Could be rated too low by me here, but despite the great chorus + whistling, the verses and production don't seem to go anywhere really. Nevertheless I'm liking this more and more the more I hear it.
46. Aly & AJ - "Chemicals React"
Not the last time A&A will show up on this list. Lyrically below a lot of the rest of their material, but it still has plenty of evocative imagery and good lines, and of course one hell of a catchy tune. The girls can rock! Probably Aly & AJ's worst vocal performance though.
45. Jessica Simpson - "A Public Affair"
"Push Your Tush" shoulda been a single! This is a really fun song.
44. Young Joc - "It's Going Down"
May be kicking myself in a few months for putting this so low, but this is where it feels right at this time.
43. Hannah Montana - "If We Were a Movie"
Hannah in love. How cute.
42. Sara Evans - "Coalmine"
Kinda like a second rate version of "Suds in the Bucket", but "Suds" is one of my top 10 singles of the decade to this point, so...Anyways, I have a huge blindspot for Sara Evans, admittedly, so this placement may need to be taken with a grain of salt. But why was "You'll Always Be My Baby" a single over, say, "New Hometown" or "These Four Walls"? Those would both rank above this, though this is a fun song.
41. Shakira ft. Wyclef - "Hips Don't Lie"
By my estimation, the fourth best number one single of 2006 (in America). It was a good year for number ones. Now bubble with anticipation as to which three will rank above it. I'm not a big fan of Wyclef's or Shakira's voices, but they work for this song. It's all rather ridiculous, but it does work. Great horn sample.
40. Paris Hilton - "Stars are Blind"
So out of place on the album! One of several great songs on the album, there's a few non-singles that would rank ahead of this one (say "Screwed" or "Jealousy"). The pop-reggae stuff is maybe getting a bit played out, but this is pretty, and Paris' personality-less vocals actually work in its favor, I think.
39. Nelly Furtado - "Maneater"
Nelly F. reinvents herself to great results. Well to the results of a few great singles and a bunch of filler. More Nelly F. to come. This song started out much, much higher but has been falling all year. Not a whole lot of replay value. I think this is about its floor.
38. Montgomery Gentry - "Some People Change"
"Hey Country" is better, but not a single. I like the lyrics to this song, plus the chorus is a genuine powerhouse.
37. LeAnn Rimes - "And It Feels Like"
A Europe-only release, for whatever reason. Totally not country, but really good. I do like some of her country releases this year too. "Some People" was a late cut from the top 50.
36. Christina Aguilera - "Hurt"
A pretty ballad. Probably worse than "Beatutiful", but not by much. Possibly my favorite song on the disappointing Back to Basics album ("Candyman" is good too).
35. Ciara - "Promise"
Possibly ranked way too low, but I just heard this song for the first time a couple weeks ago and don't feel comfortable rating it higher at this point. Thems the breaks. Not a top 10 single of the year in any event.
34. Jordan Pruitt - "Outside Looking In"
I did half of a post on this song here.
33. Rihanna - "SOS (Rescue Me)"
I don't mind the blatant sample. They make the sample feel like a natural part of the song, which is hard to do, and plus the song has a lot more going for it than just that sample. Very catchy.
32. Meg and Dia - "Monster"
"Indiana" would be much higher, but this is the second best song on the album. And that's probably one of my top 10 albums of '06 (whoops, spoiler alert!) A great, extremely dramatic and original song. You can have your Grizzly Bear or Hold Steady or Band of Horses, these girls do indie rock better than any of them.
31. Amy Winehouse - "Rehab"
A great song on an album full of consistently great songs. Luv the lyrics and the melody. This would (probably) have been top 20 in 2004 or 2005. When it comes to modern day updates/revivals of old R&B sounds, I'll take Amy Winehouse over the Pipettes any day.
30. The Research - "Lonely Hearts Still Beat the Same"
Stylus fave is also a Greg Fanoe fave. Great lyrics and a pretty melody. The female vocalist is not a great singer, though.
29. Aly & AJ - "Greatest Time of Year"
One of the great Christmas pop songs of recent times. Of all time, really. 9/9 cutoff. All the songs ranked below this on this list are rated 8/10 (I'm a big ol softie of a grader).
28. Brie Larson - "Coming Around"
I fully admit to being an absolute sucker for this type of song: Pretty, acoustic instrumentation, cute and sweet melody, and a good female singer on top of it. Pretty good, though pretty generic, love song lyrics. Better than anything on Brie's first album. Questionable eligibility. For some reason I decided this song was eligible and "Stilts and the Titanic" wasn't. Both would have made it if both were eligible. This is kind of included to represent both, I guess. So even though neither song is individually higher than an 8/10, I cheated and moved this song higher than it really deserves. Not to say I don't love this song, because I do!
27. Hannah Montana - "The Best of Both Worlds"
Still more to come from my favorite singles artist of the year. (Aly & AJ would be very close if not ahead were "Not This Year" a single).
26. Nelly Furtado - "Promiscuous [Girl]"
A consensus seems to have developed that this is the best song on the Nelly F album, but I actually have one other rated above it (among the singles at least).
25. Morningwood - "Nth Degree"
Their best song ever, by far, and I have my doubts they'll ever make anything else so good. But yet this is great.
24. Julie Roberts - "Men & Mascara"
Nashville country song of the year. There are actually 3 country singles rated above it but they are either not country or were on albums released last year. I love Julie's voice, plus it has a really sweet, pretty melody. Like I said I'm a sucker for it.
23. Hannah Montana - "This Is the Life"
Still sad that this flopped on Radio Diz.
22. Teddybears SHTLM ft. Mad Cobra - "Cobrastyle"
Very original and awesome. I prefer it to the Robyn version, personally, though I'm not a huge Robyn fan in general.
21. Charlotte Church - "Moodswings (to Come at Me Like That)"
Charlotte Church's debut pop album had 2 great songs and this was one of them. Seems to me to be a totally underrated single. I didn't realize until the very last minute that this was even eligible this year.
20. Natasha Bedingfield - "The One That Got Away"
Questionable eligibility, but it did have a chart life on the dance charts this year, so I declare it to be eligible. One of my favorite tracks off of one of my top 10 or 20 albums of the decade to this point. Rated based off the original, spare instrumentation and not the dance remix that charted on the dance charts and is included on the album. Cheating, perhaps, but I like the original mix better!
19. Britney Spears - "And Then We Kiss"
Europe only and questionable eligibility, but a great song. Why didn't this get an American release? Whatever, it makes me really look forward to her new album (if ever made). Possibly underrated, but I didn't hear the song until really late in the year, and this is where I feel comfortable ranking it right now.
18. The Veronicas - "4Ever"
Maybe the chorus of the year, but it doesn't seem to have much else going for it. The verses, production, and lyrics don't seem to be adding anything to the song for me.
17. High School Musical - "Breaking Free"
The TCR was, of course, far from immune from the HSM phenomenon this year. This is the best song from the film by far. I love the "Stick to the Status Quo" number in the movie, but it feels oddly lifeless on record. Rated too high because I also love the movie? I dunno. But come on, isn't "We're breaking free/SOA-ring/FLY-ing" one of the great moments in pop this year? I believe it is.
16. Fergie - "Fergalicious"
Like the Morningwood, this is the only song by this artist that I really love. Actually I hated it at first (I have a long history of hating Black Eyed Peas and Fergie, and I hated "London Bridge"). But one day as I was listening to it on the radio, it just clicked for me for whatever reason. Anyways, I still think the general sound/lyrics Fergie is going for is uninteresting, but she's perfected it here. Best music video of the year, as well. Musical acts with only one great song: Morningwood, Fergie, Anna Nalick ("Breathe (2AM)"), Sixpence None the Richer, Delta Goodrem ("Electric Storm").
15. T.I. - "What You Know"
Rap single of the year in what seems to me a pretty weak year for rap music. Like all of the other songs rated 11-16, it really pains me to leave this out of the top 10.
14. JoJo - "Too Little, Too Late"
JoJo has a breakthrough success with an R&B song with teen confessional lyrics. This makes me very happy. The album was a letdown, and "Leave (Get Out)" is still better.
13. Nelly Furtado - "Say It Right"
From the first time I heard Loose, this pretty ballad was my favorite song on it. My opinion has yet to be swayed on this, and I'm thrilled it's caught on with radio like "Maneater" never did. I bumped this out of the top 10 at the very last minute.
12. Camera Obscura - "Lloyd, I'm Ready to Be Heartbroken"
This was in my top 10 for most of the year until some better songs pushed it out. "Let's Get Out of This Country" was a late cut from the top 50. This is the indie band of the year. At least, defining "indie" in the way it is commonly used.
11. Texas Lightning - "No, No Never"
My favorite Eurovision entry this year by far, and my favorite in years. I wish their album had more original songs, or at least that the other original songs were this good. Anyways, German country music! This plays as almost a pastiche of country music, but it works to me, because of the pretty melody and good vocals.
10. Hilary Duff - "Play With Fire"
Hilary rips off Rachel Stevens and Greg rejoices. Hilary has now had one of my top 10 singes of the year for at least 3 years in a row ("Wake Up" in the bottom reaches of the top 10 in 2005 and "Come Clean" number 1 or 2 in 2004). I say "at least" because in 2003 "So Yesterday" would be close but that was such a great year for singles I think it would probably be left out of the top 10. But it would get top 10 consideration. The nearly spoken-word bridge is my favorite part of the song.
9. Paris Hilton - "Nothing in this World"
The best song on Paris' album. Dr. Luke proves himself again to be a genius.
8. All-American Rejects - "Move Along"
Rock song of the year. Fun video. I don't know or understand why "Dirty Little Secret" was a bigger hit, because this is a much better song. Good work AAR. This is the 10/10 cutoff, P-Hilt gets a 9 (would be a 10 but I don't like the "da da" part. And realistically it's like a 9.5). This 10/10 cutoff is incosistent with a previous post, but I decided I was rating too harshly there.
7. Carrie Underwood - "Before He Cheats"
The best song on her debut album, by far (though I like the album). So awesome. Proves that American Idols can flat out rock better than any Chris Daughtry song ever could. A genuine surprise, given that she did almost all country ballads on the show. This is one of the very few American Idol contestants I like better off the show than I liked on the show (though I also liked her on the show).
6. Hannah Montana - "I Got Nerve"
Possibly my favorite melody of the year, and Miley's a great singer. But it doesn't have much going for it lyrically and the production is nothing to write home about. But seriously, I could just listen to this melody all day long.
5. Marit Larsen - "Only a Fool"
2-5 are so awesome and so close in quality (at least rated based on how much I like them). I spent way too long sorting them out. It's nearly a coinflip as to the order of the songs. I really hate to rate this number 5, but I don't like it better than any of the above songs and it lost out on tiebreakers. Would have been comfortably number 2 in 2005 (not as good as "I Said Never Again (But Here We Are)", but well ahead of anything else released that year). Country song of the year.
4. Beyonce - "Irreplaceable"
Beyonce's best single. In a year full of great R&B ballads, this was the best. Tiebreaker for this over "Only a Fool" is lyrics. Though I like the lyrics to "Only a Fool" too.
3. Aly & AJ - "Rush"
Frank et al have convinced me that it deserves eligibility this year. Whatever year it's counted in, it's amazing. Tiebreaker over "Irreplaceable" is my fasciation with/love of Aly & AJ in general. Plus bonus points for "Not This Year"s non-inclusion. Oh plus I love the first half of the first chorus.
2. Amy Diamond - "Don't Cry Your Heart Out"
When 2-5 are absurdly close, as they are here, a good tiebreaker to move this to the top of the heap is that this is probably the song that I have listened to the greatest number of times in 2006. When I've heard a song that many times and still love it so much, that means something.
1. Lillix - "Sweet Temptation (Hollow)"
I've said numerous times that this is my favorite single of the year, so maybe that takes ome of the surprise out of this selection. A discrete chunk above the 2-5 cluster as the single of the year. My top 3 this year were all teenpop songs, which strikes me as odd, but that's just how it played out.


Explaining some exclusions:
Cassie, Scissor Sisters, Knife, Pipettes - All very meh to me. I still fail to understand the appeal of The Knife. "Your Kisses are Wasted on Me" is the only Pipettes song that received even the barest consideration, and even then it was a pretty early cut.
Justin T, Gnarls, Killers, "LDN" and "Who Said" were all late cuts but I like the songs.
"Not Ready To Make Nice" is not one of my 10 favorite Dixie Chicks songs. It's one of the better songs on their album, but it's probably my least favorite of the Chicks 4 major label studio albums. The love of the song, methinks, depends too strongly on factors external to the song itself. Not that it's inherently bad for the song to exist in an outside context, but the song itself doesn't do anything for me. I don't like the chorus at all and, yeah, the lyrics are good but if the music doesn't grab me, what's the point. And now I'm trying to be told this is the career masterpiece by a band that has "Travelin' Soldier" and "Goodbye Earl" in its catalogue? Puh-leeze.
"Kick, Push" will probably ultimately make my top 50 of the year, but I only just heard it for the first time a day or two ago and didn't feel comfortable including it right now. Not sounding like top 20 material at this point (too repetitive), but I like it.

I just realized that this list only has 10 songs with male vox on it (not counting Morningwood)! And only 9 if you half-count "Breaking Free" and "Hips Don't Lie". But whatever, I'm not going to shove in male vocalized songs that I like worse just to force an artificial balance. Still, it does make me think.

Have a Very Merry Teenpop Christmas

Jordan Pruitt and the TCR wish you all Happy Holidays.

Day 13 of the TCR Christmas Extravaganza (final day)

Well, this is it for me this year. My blog is going on a break until the new year, whence I will commence with brief year-in-review content, then go on to my usual blatherings. To close it out, I will present the OFFICIAL TCR TEENPOP CHRISTMAS MIX for all to listen to.

Not much commentary because it's basically composed of all the songs I've written about plus a few bonus tracks.

Very Merry Teenpop Christmas

1. Ali Lohan - "Lohan Holiday"
2. Hanson - "Everybody Knows the Claus"
3. 'N Sync - "Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays"
4. S Club 7 - "Perfect Christmas"
5. B2K ft. IMX - "My First Christmas"
6. Mariah Carey - "All I Want for Christmas Is You"
7. Cheetah Girls - "Five More Days 'Til Christmas"
8. Girls Aloud - "I Wanna Kiss You So (Christmas in a Nutshell)"
9. Aly & AJ - "Greatest Time of Year"
"Not This Year" is a better song, but it does have anti-Christmas lyrics. This is a happy album! Plus this is a great song too.
10. Hilary Duff - "Santa Claus Lane"
11. Christina Aguilera - "This Christmas"
12. Crazy Frog - "Jingle Bells"
Not the best song, but it wouldn't be a teenpop Christmas album without a cover of an extremely inane Christmas carol, now would it!
13. Skye Sweetnam - "Why Doesn't Santa Like Me"
h/t Cure for Bedbugs
14. Wham - "Last Christmas"
So frequently covered it had to be included, plus it's a good song. And Wham! was a teenpop band back in their day

No "Santa Don't Stop" because I couldn't find the mp3 to download anywhere! Boo! Of course, it would certainly have been included on this album (and would have been one of the better songs) if I had been able to find the mp3.

Christmas Episodes: Lizzie McGuire - Xtreme Xmas

Day 5 of the TCR Christmas Extravaganza

TCR readers, you can look forward to the following Christmas Extravanganza content between now and the big day: Album reviews of Christmas albums by The Cheetah Girls, Girls Aloud, Mariah Carey, Hanson, and Clay Aiken; a review of the Phil of the Future Christmas episode; a review of one of the ABC Family original Christmas movies; a review of some undecided upon children's special, and hopefully more. There's still plenty of room in there for requests, so please leave a comment or email if you have one.

In today's installment, I will do a review of the Christmas episode of Lizzie McGuire, which is for whatever reason entitled "Xtreme Xmas". Occurring late into the run of the series, it's an odd little episode, but yet an amusing one nonetheless. I really love Lizzie and it basically came down to a coinflip as to whether it was this show or Even Stevens which I put in the TCR Hall of Fame. Obviously Even Stevens won out (mostly due to Lizzie's rather weak start), but I still consider both of those shows, plus Phil of the Future, to be a pretty clear cut above all the other shows the Disney Channel has produced. Plus I haven't really written anything about Lizzie on this blog so this will start to rectify that.

The Show: Lizzie McGuire

The Episode: "Xtreme Xmas"
Year of Production: 2002
Episode Number: 51 of 65
Key Guest Stars: Steven Tyler as Santa Claus, and playing Kate's eeeeevil cousin Amy is...



That's right, eagle-eyed readers, it's Hilary Duff's older, inferior model, sister Haylie Duff. Haylie appears as Kate's even more stuck up cousin Amy in a few episodes. Her role in this episode is extremely brief, and frankly rather pointless, but she does a decent job with what she has. Gee, Kate's cousin sure does look an awful lot like Lizzie. Odd. Also odd is that it kind of looks like Kate is about to cry in this screencap when actually she's delivering yet another of her charming witticisms.


Brief Series Summary, For the Totally Clueless: "Get inside her head!" say the advertisements and you can do that when you watch this Disney Channel family comedy, the most successful of their "Zoog Weekendz" shows. It's all about the ordinary and not-so-ordinary adventures of a junior high student [Lizzie] and her two best friends [Gordo and Miranda] as they try to deal with the ups and downs of school, popularity [In particular, the EVIL popular girl Kate, Lizzie's archrival. As pictured above next to Haylie], boys, parents, a bratty little brother [Matt]--just life in general. And if Lizzie leaves anything unsaid, you can bet that her cartoon alter ego will say it for her! [Attribution to Tv.com, with extra information in bold added by me.]

Episode Summary [Contains Spoilers, As Such!]: The episode begins with Lizzie and Gordo meeting in line to meet Santa Claus. In this activity, apparently, students are encouraged to give away old toys for less fortunate kids during Christmas. Nice idea. Anyways, Lizzie is there to give out the old toys, and she and Gordo are discussing the Christmas parade float competition. The winner of the competition wins a ski trip, and Lizzie really wants to win! [Opening Credits]. After the opening credits, we are viewing Lizzie and Gordo in some sort of garage building their float. The theme for her float is going to be "Rock & Roll Christmas", and there's some cute comedy as they have float related conversations with Larry and Kate. Anyways, the Christmas action really heats up when Lizzie and Gordo then meet Knobby, who claims to be one of Santa's elves (Elf owes this royalties!) Knobby seems odd, but harmless. The whole McGuire family then comes to meet up with Lizzie and ends up meeting and ultimately hanging out with Knobby. Lizzie is upset that her family would rather hang out with Knobby than help with her float. We cut to the McGuire house, where an exasperated Lizzie learns that the plumbing at Knobby's retirement home is busted, so he will have to stay with the McGuires for a few days [good work Ma and Pa Mcguire, for all you know this guy is a serial killer]. Some weird scenes follow where the family hangs out with Knobby. Ultimately, Mr. McGuire gets the idea to help out trying to fix Knobby's plumbing himself, as the plumbing company can't fix it due to people being on vacation. So the whole family sans Lizzie, and Gordo too, pitch in to fix the plumbing. Lizzie is left trying to make her float on her own, and is really upset. She collapses and falls asleep in exhaustion. But she's met by Knobby in her dream! Knobby shows her the true meaning of sequence, in possibly the weirdest Lizzie McGuire sequence I've ever seen. She first meets with the "Ghost of Christmas Past" (her mom) who partakes in some "hilarious" comedy, and then just flat out tells Lizzie that she has lost sight of the true meaning in Christmas because she was too wrapped up in the float. Uh, what? Why did they get the Ghost of Christmas Past to tell her that? It's something that's happening right now! Then they get Matt McGuire to tell her the "true meaning" of Christmas, in a humorous parody of the famous Peanuts Christmas Special moment. Lizzie realizes that the true meaning of Christmas is helping people, so she decides to help her family fix the plumbing. At the end, Santa (Steven Tyler) magically builds Lizzie's float at the last second and everybody loves it. It was the best Christmas ever. The episode ends with Steven Tyler singing "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town".

And They All Learned a Valuable Lesson: The true meaning of Christmas is helping people, not building badass floats to burn your social rivals! Though it undermines its own message by having Lizzie get a badass float that burns her social rival anyways. So, you should help people out, because if you do, you'll just get whatever you selfishly wanted anyways.

Greg's Review/Comments: First comment is that, like a lot of the later Lizzie episodes, Miranda does not appear in this episode at all. I'm not sure what happens here, but I liked Lalaine as Miranda a lot, and her absence was a big flaw with the show towards the end of its run. One of the reasons I consistently rank this show below Even Stevens is that it was weak at the beginning and end. At the beginning because Hilary's acting was rocky to start with, and and the end because of the lack of Miranda, who really did contribute a lot to the show. Despite that flaw, this manages to be a very cute and fun episode. Some of the jokes I found funny, particularly the parts where Lizzie is interacting with Gordo and her other classmates (Tudgeman, Kate, etc.). In actuality, the jokes are primarily based on pop culture references, and as is par for the course on this show, are very hit or miss. That being said, this was definitely one of the odder Lizzie episodes I've yet seen.

The character of Knobby in particular, was very odd. He claims to be an elf, but yet dresses in normal clothing! In addition, the fact that he claims he is an elf is pretty much irrelevant to the episode. He's basically just a random old man. But yet everybody trusts and loves them from the moment he meets them! The McGuires invite them into their home! They agree to fix the plumbing to his retirement home even though they have no formal training as plumbers. OK, that part of the episode is extremely unrealistic. I wish they had thought of a different way for Lizzie to learn the simple joys of helping out her fellow man, by having her whole family work together to help on something that was at least slightly realistic.

Anyways, this episode ultimately succeeds on the merits of everything that makes the show succeed in general. Hilary Duff as Lizzie became excellent at the role by the time of the end of the series, she was expressing her emotions great, and you could really relate to her. Her interactions with her classmates can sometimes be genuinely funny, and anyways, even if they aren't funny, the show does a great job of getting you emotionally involved in them. Hell, I felt frustrated for Lizzie when nobody would help her build the float, even though the show was depicting her as selfish. Like always, the non-Lizzie scenes tend to drag, and this episode is much less centric on Lizzie and her school drama than most Lizzie McGuire episodes are. For that reason, it doesn't rank as one of the top episodes in the series run. But then again, a common complaint about the show, that it was highly repetitive and unoriginal throughout its run, definitely does not apply here. Additionally, this show's top notch supporting cast was either not in the episode at all (Lalaine) or in the episode for so little time as to practically add no value (Ashley Brillault, always excellent as Kate).

Final Rating: Not the best episode of Lizzie but a fun watch if you are a fan of the series. This episode was a good microcosm for the problems I had with the series towards the end of its run. Namely, too little Miranda, too little Kate, too much Tudgeman, and too much of the McGuire family other than Lizzie. Like most Christmas episodes of long running series, this episode is basically designed to be a stand-alone. No reference is made to any long running plots on the show, and no real prior knowledge of the show is needed for watching. 7.5/10. Also, why in the world is this episode called "Xtreme Xmas"? There's nothing remotely extreme about it. Odd.

Album Review: Hilary Duff - Santa Claus Lane

The TCR Christmas content officially begins today, with a review of Hilary Duff's comparatively little known Christmas release, Santa Claus Lane (whoops, maybe it began two months ago). Like I said in the last post, there will be much, much more to come, including reviews of Christmas albums by Christina Aguilera, B2K, Hanson, Girls Aloud, The Cheetah Girls, and Clay Aiken, along with hopefully some others if I can track them down. If you have any ideas for other Christmas albums, or for any Christmas TV or movie related content, I once again urge you to leave a comment or e-mail me. As much as I hate blatantly begging for comments and e-mails, I am having trouble coming up with ideas on the TV and movie side of the equation. Please don't make me resort to doing a review of Home Alone.

The Vitals

The Album: Santa Claus Lane
The Artist: Hilary Duff
Year Released: 2002, originally, though I will be reviewing the 2003 re-release (featuring the new track "What Christmas Should Be") herein
Length: 36:42, including the new 2003 track.
The Covers: "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town", "Jingle Bell Rock", "Sleigh Ride", "Last Christmas", "A Wonderful Christmas Time"
The Originals: "What Christmas Should Be", "Santa Claus Lane" (yes, it is a different song from the classic Christmas carol), "I Heard Santa on the Radio", "When the Snow Comes Down in Tinseltown", "Tell Me a Story (About the Night Before)", "Same Old Christmas"
Inevitably Sad, Anti-Christmas Tune: "Last Christmas"
Religious Content: Nil. Not a single song on here even hints at any religious significance behind Christmas
Santa Content: High. 4 of the 5 cover songs have no mention of Santa Claus at all ("Santa Claus Is Coming to Town" being the obvious exception). Of the originals, "Same Old Christmas" and "What Christmas Should Be" have no Santa content. The remaining 5 songs all either heavily reference or are directly built around Santa Claus. A nearly 50% Santa hit rate.

Greg's Review/Comments

Quality of the Cover Songs: Unlike many Christmas albums, which simply do a rote regurgitation (*cough*AlyandAJ*cough*), this album actually attempts to add a new spin upon the songs that it covers. The production style on this is very much classic Motown-style "Wall of Sound" (not that the production itself sounds anything like Spector or Motown, just that it's extremely busy). There is little guitar to be found on this record, choosing instead to focus primarily on electronic instrumentation. Very little in the way of traditional Christmas music staples such as bells and strings as well. Sometimes the approach of busying up the classic songs works, and sometimes it really doesn't. "Last Christmas" (which actually features some of the least busy production on the entire album) is clearly inferior to the Wham! version, and the "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town" treatment is probably worse than just any old normal version. But sometimes it works really well! I would prefer to listen to Hilary's "A Wonderful Christmas Time" about 10x more than the Paul McCartney version, given that it's about 10x more FUN and about 10x less PRETENTIOUS (wait would that make it 100x better?) than the original. Yes Mr. McCartney, songs declaring the joy of a happy Christmas are, in fact, supposed to be fun. Plus the rockin' electric guitar solo.

Quality of Originals: This album has 6 original songs out of 11 overall, which is an excellent ratio. And the originals are all pretty catchy! "Santa Claus Lane" is a really fun song with a very catchy instrumental hook and chorus, although extremely generic lyrics. "When the Snow Comes Down in Tinseltown" is a real throwaway track with standard pro-snow lyrics and a very "Christmas song" sounding melody. Not much to recommend this song really, but it's pleasant enough and the spoken word parts are so incredibly cheesy that they made me laugh out loud, which is always a plus. "Same Old Christmas" is a similarly pleasant-but-not-great duet with Haylie, which features a pro-Christmas tradition lyric. This leaves 3 other original songs, which are all interesting in their own way.

1) "Tell Me a Story (About the Night Before)" is a "duet" with Lil Romeo that has lyrics adapted from classic Christmas poem "The Night Before Christmas". The song features rapping by Lil Romeo during the lyrics with Hilary piping in for the chorus. And ho-lee crap is it horrible. Wow, Hilary Duff REALLY should not do R&B because her voice is not half strong enough for a decent R&B singer. Also it has so little actual Hilary Duff content that it baffles me that it is included on an official Hilary Duff album. And yet, this was actually the only official single from the album.

2) "I Heard Santa on the Radio" is one of the most bizarre Christmas songs I've heard yet. First of all, it's a duet with Christina Milian, who a lot of people might not know got her start as a Diz singer. OK, to get an idea of this song, here are the lyrics to the pre-chorus/chorus to this song: "Hey hey hey/and Ho ho hoand Now its time/For the jolly DJ show/I heard Santa on the radio/I knew it was Santa on the radio/Mixing up the music like a Santa should/And radio, radio/Never sounded so good". Those are basically the lyrics to the song, about Santa being a DJ on the radio show, "finding bustin beats" (<-- actual quote from the song) and uniting the entire world through dance! The song also (hilariously) implies that there are multiple Santa Clauses. Musically, it's actually really good and catchy, with good production and a nice melody, but the lyrics are just so weird and bad. 3) "What Christmas Should Be" was recorded a year after the rest of the tracks on this album, and you can totally tell! It sounds almost nothing like the other songs. It's based mostly around guitar, features a more mature lyric extolling the virtues of world peace, hope, etc. during Christmas time, and a much stronger vocal by Hilary. She totally changed her entire sound in the span of a year. And changed it for the better, I'd say, because this is the best track on the album. This song, unlike any of the other of these tracks, would totally fit in on Metamorphosis, and would actually be one of the standout tracks on that album, in my opinion at least.

General Comments: Man, if you think that Hilary's singing is thin and bad on some of her later albums, you should listen to this one. She clearly got some vocal training between this album and the later ones, because it's really restricted here. They have wisely decided to mix this album so that her vocals are usually drowned out by the music and background vocals, so it's not bad enough to destroy the album or anything. Hilary Duff remains possibly my favorite singles artist of the 2000's, as she would probably place about 4 or 5 singles in my top 50 of the decade. Yet, she's always been pretty inconsistent as far as albums are concerned, and this one is no exception. I'd probably stick to Most Wanted if you are looking to get any Hilary album (get the signature edition, it has "Jehrico"!), but for a throwaway Christmas effort, this is actually really good. I realize that "really good for a throwaway Christmas album" is pretty faint praise, but I'm not sure I can offer anything stronger. Probably not worth a purchase except for the most hardcore of Hilary Duff fans, but definitely an interesting listen, and several of the songs are catchy enough to get stuck in your head. That being said, the treatment it's being given now (that is, the THIS ALBUM DOES NOT EXIST AND NEVER DID treatment) is undeserved. You will see many massive store displays featuring many Christmas albums this December, and I doubt any will have this album. Her discography as listed on her own official website even excludes this album. OK, maybe not her best work, but not her worst work either, and it deserves a listing!

Standout Tracks: "What Christmas Should Be", "Santa Claus Lane", "A Wonderful Christmas Time"

Final Rating: A lot of clunkers, no excellent tracks, and probably too sugary to listen to in one go, even considering that it's barely a half an hour long. 6.5/10. Not a very high score, but I actually anticipate that this will be one of the best, if not THE best itself, of the teen pop Christmas albums I review this December. I hope I'm wrong. By the way, that album cover makes me laugh real hard every time I see it. Unintentional comedy rating for the album cover is 10/10.

Unwritten About Singles of 2006

I usually like to keep pretty strict themes on my posts, but this here is just a mishmash of great singles (at least tangentially related to teen pop) of 2006 I haven't written about before on this blog and don't forsee writing about in the future.

Marit Larsen - "Only A Fool"
Contending For: Top 5 singles of the year
Comments: Country music! Marit was one of the two M's in M2M, and she was great in that. Despite her teenpop pedigree, there's nothing too teenpop about this, but it IS a great song! Marit's album was pretty good, but this is definitely the best song in my opinion. An absolutely amazing mid tempo melody, great lyrics, and great guitar make this track an absolute keeper. Provisionally slotted as my 3rd favorite single of the year, but could rise from there. Probably won't fall.
Greg's Rating: 9/10

Beyonce - "Irreplaceable"
Contending For: Top 5 singles of the year
Comments: As of right now, I'm willing to say that this is my favorite single Beyonce has released to this point in her career, including the Destiny's Child catalogue. Like Marit, she has solid teenpop pedigree as a member of one of the best teenpop groups of the late 90's/early 00's. Again, this isn't really teenpop but it's so awesome! Plus all of the essential Beyonce songs released to this point in her career ("Say My Name"; "Crazy In Love") have been uptempo...I think this is her first really good ballad. At least it's the first ballad of hers that I've really loved. Great gutpunch lyrics. Compares well with "Only a Fool" for most unforgettable midtempo melody of the year.
Greg's Rating: 9/10

All-American Rejects - "Move Along"
Contending For: Top 10 singles of the year
Comments: Emo-rock seems to be the completely dominant form of teen pop right now, at least if you define teen pop as what teens actually listen to. Right now, there is a big disconnect between what I would consider "teen pop" (i.e. music made my teens) and what teens actually listen to. When I was in high school (1996-2000) the music that teens loved was often actually made by young people and would typically be referred to as teen pop. I'm thinking here, Spice Girls, Hanson, Britney Spears, Backstreet Boys, NSync, etc. Those bands were all huge on a larger scale, but Britney, Christina, BSB and NSync were just unbelievably massive among high schoolers. But now, if you take Hannah Montana, High School Musical, et al. they are unbelievably massive among the younger set, but I can't imagine they are particularly huge in high school. JoJo is one that comes to mind as somebody who may be big among high schoolers, though I don't really know. Anyways, if emo-rock is the new teenpop bring it on if all the songs sound like this. Actually I don't like most of the emo-rock bands, but I love this song.
Greg's Rating: 9/10

Paris Hilton - "Nothing In This World"
Contending For: Top 10 singles of the year
Comments: Well, the TCR has yet to weigh in on the Paris Hilton phenomenon so far. There has been so much excellent ink spilled on this album in the pop community that I hesitate to try to add anything to it. Nevertheless, this is a great song! The Martin/Luke formula apparently never gets old, because songs in that mold keep getting released and I keep loving them! This is more of a dance take on the "Since U Been Gone" formula rather than most of the rock-oriented tracks lately. But this seriously kicks ass! Yes, all this proves is that if you have enough money you too can purchase a good pop album. But pop is a very producer and songwriter oriented genre, and I don't see why the artist has to have personal input on it! My number one pet peeve (by far) in pop music is the idea of "legitimacy" and whether somebody "deserves" to be a pop star.
Greg's Rating: 8.5/10

Hilary Duff - "Play With Fire"
Contending For: Top 15 singles of the year
Comments: To my ears, this is Hilary's first essential single since, oh, "Fly" I guess ("Jericho" wasn't a single)? Yes, this is decidedly a Rachel Stevens rip, but given that Come And Get It is probably my favorite album of 2005 in retrospect and that "I Said Never Again (But Here We Are)" was at the time, and still remains, my favorite single of 2005, this is something that does not particularly bother me. I guess most in the pop community will say that it's just Rachel done worse, but I think this would have been a standout on CAGI. Plus it's not like Rachel is anything great as a singer herself. I really hope it gives Hilary the mainstream breakout hit that she has lacked since "Come Clean". Powerhouse chorus.
Greg's Rating: 8.5/10

Fergie - "Fergalicious"
Contending For: Top 20 single of the year
Comments: Oh God, I hate Fergie. I hate her so much. The Black Eyed Peas are my least favorite pop act of the 00's and she is the main reason why. I didn't care for "London Bridge" too much, as it seems to be to be a Gwen Stefani rip ("Hollaback Girl" in particular). Plus this song has the same "I am so hot" lyrics that I hated in "My Humps" so much. Man, I wanted to hate this song so much! But even from the first time I heard it, it sounded OK to me. I kind of sweated it out a while and assumed I would grow to hate it, but ultimately even I had to admit that this is a great song. A grower. Curse you Fergie.
Greg's Rating: 8/10

Natasha Bedingfield - "The One That Got Away"
Contending For: Top 15 singles of the year
Comments: Natasha finally releases the best track off of her debut album as a single! Ok, maybe "Unwritten" is better. This song was released to US clubs only, so maybe I should rate it based on the club mix, but I really love the original spare album mix. So simplistic, yet so catchy. Natasha's first album is one of my favorite of the 00's based entirely on the quality of the top songs, although it's very maddeningly inconsistent. For example, I absolutely love this song, "These Words", "Unwritten", "I Bruise Easily", and "Stumble". Now, this song and "Stumble" were not on the UK version, but I live in America so all references to the album herein are to the US version. Those songs could stand with the top 5 tracks from almost any other album of the 00's. But that's not the whole album! It also has (garbage, to my ears) songs such as "Single", "Size Matters" and "Drop Me in the Middle", some of which even beat this song to being a single! Wait where was I going with this? Well, anyways, in summary Natasha Bedingfield = good, Natasha Bedingfield ballads > Natasha Bedingfield uptempo songs, and this is one of the best tracks of the year. This song is trending upwards; the more I listen to it, the more I love it.
Greg's Rating: 8/10

Christina Aguilera - "Hurt"
Contending For: Top 25 singles of the year
Comments: This really pretty ballad is probably my favorite song off of the extremely disappointing Aguilera album released this year. This or "Candyman". In any event, I don't really have any need to decide which I like better, since this is the single and not "Candyman". But this is a great song, and to my ears it could stand up against any other ballad Christina has released in her career, including "Beautiful". And she doesn't even really try to over sing it! Even though, as is well documented, "Genie in a Bottle" is my favorite song of the 90's and one of my favorites of all time, I've never really been too huge a Christina fan. Other than "Genie", "Fighter" is the only other really essential song in her catalogue, and I might even slate this as my third favorite single she's released. This song, "Beautiful", or "Come On Over Baby (All I Want Is You)".
Greg's Rating: 8/10

This is my provisional top 10 singles of the year. My hypothetical Pazz & Jop ballot:

1. Lillix - "Sweet Temptation (Hollow)"
2. Amy Diamond - "Don't Cry Your Heart Out"
3. Marit Larsen - "Only A Fool"
4. Beyonce - "Irreplaceable"
5. Carrie Underwood - "Before He Cheats" [Nashville country single of the year. It baffles me how it took so long to release this as a single.]
6. Hannah Montana - "I've Got Nerve"
7. Camera Obscura - "Lloyd, I'm Ready to Be Heartbroken" [old indie habits die hard]
8. Texas Lightning - "No, No Never"
9. All-American Rejects - "Move Along"
10. Paris Hilton - "Nothing In This World"

I don't anticipate there will be too many substantive changes between this list and my ultimate year end list. This list does not include "Rush", which I consider 05 or "Not This Year" or "Indiana", which are not singles. I will say that "Sweet Temptation (Hollow)", "Don't Cry Your Heart Out", and "Not This Year" are my only 10/10 songs of the year, and that "Not This Year" would seriously contend for number 1 if it were included. A good year for singles, far better than last year in any event.

The "Disney Era" of Teen Stardom

The current era of teen stars (the "Disney era" for lack of a better term) was trailblazed by Hilary Duff. The career path of trying to simultaneously launch successful careers in both singing and acting is the path followed by virtually all of the teen stars today. Hilary even tried to simultaneously launch/carry on legitimately successful careers as a TV star, a movie star, and a music star. Well, we see she hasn't been too successful at any 3 of those, not since Lizzie was cancelled at least, but she's made a boatload of money for Disney, and they're gonna squeeze whatever they can out of their current crop.

The realization Disney came to is that youth love their favorite stars in a different way than adults do. When an adult loves a star, say Reese Witherspoon, they love the body of the work of that star, maybe find her attractive, but don't tend to get too emotionally attached. Kids on the other hand LOVE not just the work of the star, but the actual star him/her self. They are gonna follow whatever that star does, no matter how awful it is. That realization is what causes Disney to exploit and overexpose all of their current stars, and in some cases to just poach stars from other networks (e.g. Corbin Bleu). Don't forget that Nick blatantly ripped them off by founding their own Nickelodeon record label and putting out show soundtracks sung by the stars on it. E.g. The Drake and Josh soundtrack sung by Drake Bell and Emma's Unfabulous soundtrack. But it seems to me that of all the singing/acting teen stars, none of them are really good at both. Here's a noncomprehensive list:

Hilary Duff - A good actress, and I've defended her voice before, but it's not a great voice. It's just a voice that has had a lot of great songs written for it. Would she be more successful in the mainstream now if not for overexposure/teen pop? I dunno.

Lindsay Lohan - A really great, underrated actress. I think her two albums were OK, but they certainly didn't meet to any kind of great success. I do think she has a lot of personality and charm as a singer and as an actress, which makes her a rare, welcome exception. Yet the fact remains that her singing career was essentially a flop.

Brie Larson - What personality and liveliness as a singer. A great writer! Seemingly impossible not to love! Yet wooden, and not good, as an actress.

Miley Cyrus - I believe my opinions on her acting AND singing are well known by now.

Aly & AJ - Alyson Michalka is a great actress, but a robotic singer. AJ Michalka is a terrible actress but a great singer. So together they are great at both!

JoJo, Emma Roberts, Sara Paxton - The three main stars of Aquamarine. JoJo is a good singer, but if her work in Aquamarine is any forecast for the future, might not have a long career as an actress. Emma R my opinions are known on. Sara Paxton (star of Darcy's Wild Life) is pretty good as a singer and an actress, but not great as either (at least in my opinion).

Ashlee Simpson - Good as a singer, great songs and lyrics. Why, oh why, did she feel the need for that stint on Seventh Heaven? Suffice to say, not a good actress, at least not judging by that yardstick.

Ashley Tisdale/Vanessa Ann Hudgens/Zac Efron/Lucas Grabeel: The stars of High School Musical. All the singers were good enough for what the movie required (wait, except Efron I guess), but none are great singers. Not likely to have long music careers, unless they turn out to be killer songwriters, or hire the best ones anyways. All four, except Vanessa, are good actors.

Almost all of the other Disney stars have at least SOME songs (Christy Carlson Romano, back in the day, Anneliese Van Der Pol, Raven, etc.)

Disney actresses who don't sing:
Brenda Song
Kay Panabaker (obligatory Kay P reference)
Jamie Lynn Spears is on Nick, close enough (though a forthcoming singing career seems really likely)
?

American teen pop stars who don't act:
Jonas Brothers
Hope Partlow
(Jesse McCartney was on Summerland)
??

Seriously, the incidence is so high it's scary. So I guess the reason such a low percentage of them are good at both, and none appear to be legitimately great, is that the kids are being forced to go into both even when they are only any good at one. This fleshes out and hopefully explains better some stuff I've been talking about on the Rolling Teenpop thread lately. Let me know if I'm missing anybody/anything obvious up above.

Top 18 Teen Pop Singles of the 00's (Part 2)

aBecause I have no sense of suspense, I'm gonna post my top 10 favorite teen pop singles of the 00's today!

To remind:
1) The definition of what is and is not teen pop is obviously highly judgmental. If I had any real doubt, I left them off the list.
2) This is biased towards more recent music, which I know better. Also biased towards songs that were hits in America.
3) I probably left some stuff out.
4) Limited to one song per artist.

Numbers 18 through 11 were
18) Mandy Moore - "I Wanna Be With You"
17) LMNT - "Juliet"
16) Charlotte Church - "Crazy Chick"
15) Play - "I Must Not Chase the Boys"
14) Britney Spears - "Oops!...I Did It Again"
13) Avril Lavigne - "My Happy Ending"
12) JoJo - "Leave (Get Out)"
11) Ashlee Simpson - "LaLa"

ON TO THE TOP 10!

10. M2M - "Pretty Boy"
Year: 2000
Comments: M2M were, of course, the masters of the teen pop ballad in the early 00's. Their breakout single "Don't Say You Love Me" was '99, so not eligible for this list, but they never had any song, including that one, that was as pretty as this. Featuring the signature excellent harmonies between Marion and Marit, and their classic brand of confessional lyrics that shaped the lyrics of teen pop to come, "Pretty Boy" is a shining highlight for their career. In addition, it's got a nicely catchy but downbeat instrumental track. I also considered their uptempo rave up "Everything You Do", but honestly, the harmony ballad is where this band excelled the most. Also I wanted to pick an M2M song that was reasonably typical of their overall sound.
YouTube: Pretty Boy

9. Kelly Clarkson - "Behind These Hazel Eyes"
Year: 2005
Comments: In the official opinion of the TCR, Breakaway is the best teen pop album, hell maybe the best album overall, of the 00's. "Since U Been Gone" is the one that was latched on to by the widest audience, and I guess that's what's going to go down as her classic, but I really enjoyed all 5 of the smash hit songs from this album. Between this song, "Since U Been Gone" and "Breakaway", KC might have had 3 songs on this list if I hadn't limited it to one song per artist. As to why I picked this song, it just seems like her most original song, and it's just the one I most prefer to listen to. I love Kelly's vocals, I think it has the best lyrics of any of her smash hits, and what a catchy chorus. Plus, great work on the production by Max and Dr Luke as always. I especially enjoy the drum parts in the chorus and of course, the fuzzed-out guitar. Also Kelly's best music video ever. I guess, I love drama in songs, and with the video and the song, there's not many songs more dramatic than this. ("Because of You" is arguably more dramatic, but I prefer the catchy rave-up to the ballad in this case).
YouTube: Behind These Hazel Eyes

8. A*Teens - "Bouncing off the Ceiling (Upside Down)"
Year: 2000
Comments: I still can't believe this song never broke in the US. The A*Teens of course started out their career with a pleasant but mostly useless album of ABBA covers. Then, somewhere along the line, somebody (I assume their manager but you never know) convinced them to do an album of original material, and the result was Teen Spirit which is in the official opinion of the TCR the second best teen pop album of the 00's. Whoever convinced them to do this deserves a gold medal. As to why I picked this song over their many other good singles, this is quite possibly the most INSANELY catchy, worm its way into your brain song ever. Like TV theme song/commercial jingle catchy. The kind of song where you hear it once and it permanently lodges itself into your brain. That makes it kind of annoying, but really really fun. This is pop distilled down into its very purest form, which is one of the main reasons I love teen pop so much. Possibly underrated, I decided this song was maybe a bit too light and fluffy to rank any higher (I prefer the confessional lyrics/sound), but I wouldn't quibble with any ranking as high as even number 1.
YouTube: Bouncing off the Ceiling (Upside Down) <--- Forget pop boiled down to its purest form, this video is cheesiness distilled down to its most pure form.

7. Aly & AJ - "Rush"
Year: 2005
Comments: Being an avowed Aly Michalka fan (see embarrassing gushing here), there was of course no way I could avoid ranking this song high. In all seriousness, I love the inspirational lyrics to this song, the Michalkas have really good singing voices (espeically the one with the low voice, whichever that is), and so catchy! What an apt title this song has, as the rush I get from listening to it (esp. the chorus of course) exceeds maybe any of the other songs on this list. Owes a huge debt to "Everywhere" of course, but it's original enough on its own merits. I also really love the production on this song, especially in the verses. I like their album as well but honestly though there are other good songs, there's nothing else the girls have recorded that really approaches this. Mild bonus for having no connection to Cow Belles whatsoever. Am I rating it too high because I love Aly in Phil of the Future so much? It's possible, but I really did try to separate that stuff out.
YouTube: Rush

6. Amy Diamond - "Don't Cry Your Heart Out"
Year: 2006
Comments: Another one I've previously commented on. I still love the faux-reggae beat, and I think this far outstrips Lily Allen or "Stars are Blind", because it's such a pretty song in addition to the reggae catchiness. Also, what I love about Amy is that in addition to being a certified cutie, she's such a good singer. And I don't mean in the sense of a technically good singer, I mean in just the sound of her voice and her delivery. Like Kelly Clarkson, her delivery on the lines is impeccable, and it really does add a lot to the song. Plus she nails the high notes. I seem to like this song more than any of the other teen pop pundits, but catchy + pretty + confessional lyrics = tailor made for Greg. Like JoJo, she sings songs where the lyrical content is way too old for her age, which I normally don't like, but for whatever reason it doesn't bother me too much with her. You can't help but be impressed by this girl.
YouTube: Don't Cry Your Heart Out <-- different from the one I posted earlier, this one contains the actual recorded version of the song (just ignore the annoying kids)

5. Lillix - "Sweet Temptation (Hollow)"
Year: 2006
Comments: This song and "Don't Cry Your Heart Out" are so different that it's hard to compare them, but there's not a hairsbreadth of distance between the two to me. To me, this is the best of the hard rocking, downbeat verse, EXPLOSION in the chorus songs pioneered by "Since U Been Gone" and done many, many times since. But not done as catchy! OK, the lyrics aren't adding to much to this, but the chorus is too much of a force to ignore. The "1, 2, 3, 4" thing is normally the sort of thing I don't like in songs, but it works so well here! Perhaps I am suffering from a lack of perspective in my ranking of this song by ranking this and Amy Diamond ahead of some of the songs I've known for a lot longer, but they just didn't feel right any lower on the countdown. Bonuses for this song: I really love the synth instrumental and the bridge. No complaints at all, this song is unimprovable.
YouTube: Sweet Temptation (Hollow)

4. 'N Sync - "It's Gonna Be Me"
Year: 2000
Comments: "...this song was not a product of its times; it was not a product of any time...there was never a time in popular music when this kind of song was a dominant form of popular music. Compare it to other Boy Band songs, to "Bye, Bye, Bye" or to "I Want it That Way", listen to the weird hook and totally original production on this song compared to the others, and tell me this is a generic pop song. Tell me that this is a product of little girls who only care about how a singer looks and whether they have a decent voice, not the quality of the music." -- taken from my review of the number one singles of 2000. Best boy band single of that wave, behind "I Want It That Way", I guess. Please note I'm not trying to insult "Bye, Bye, Bye" or "I Want It That Way" by that comment, just that they seem sort of generic compared to this song. For all the talk of Justin's solo career, wake me when he does another song this brilliant.
YouTube: It's Gonna Be Me

3. T.A.T.u. - "All the Things She Said"
Year: 2002
Comments: Forget all of the marketing ploys, let's just look at the quality of the song. Several years later and this song still sounds as fresh as the day it came out, and it has stood the test of time better than I think anybody could have expected. What an oddly unconventional song. You can make the complaint, and probably the fair complaint, that a number of the songs on this list are somewhat generic, and same-sounding, but I don't think there's any way you could say that about this song. A true original. It's odd because I don't think any of T.A.T.u.'s other singles have held up very well at all; like for example I also loved "Not Gonna Get Us" at the time, though I now concede this song is far superior. An unexpected and totally deserved hit, all marketing gimmicks aside.
YouTube: All the Things She Said

2. Hilary Duff - "Come Clean"
Year: 2003
Comments: As I've said before, despite anything that anybody says, I love Hilary's voice, and it's perfect for this song. Take any of the other supposedly "good" singers and give them this song, and I can nearly guarantee the result won't be as good as this (analagous to my comments on her performance in Raise Your Voice). Listen to the thin-ness in her voice as she sings "Let the rain fall down...", it just sounds pretty to me. This is one of the songs that it bothers me that some people don't get. I just really don't understand how anybody could not like this song. How can it not just make you smile when you hear that awesome opening instrumental riff? Amazing confessional lyrics! Amazing instrumental link from the bridge to the chorus! This is the entirety of 00's teen pop distilled into one song. When I originally created this list, this song was several spots lower. But it just kept climbing higher and higher up because I would realize that this song was better than the song one space above it. Somewhat generic sounding but if all similar sounding songs were this good, I doubt there'd be any complaints. ("Fly" and "Jericho" make it too if not for limits to one per artist).
YouTube: Come Clean

1. Michelle Branch - "Everywhere"
Year: 2001
Comments: For some reason, Michelle was marketed as some kind of anti-teen pop girl. Unlike Britney/Christina, she was LEGIT because she wrote her own songs and played her own instruments! This specter of legitimacy is now legion in teen pop, and we probably have her/her managers to thank for that, but I don't hold that against the song. She broke out in a huge way with this song, coming at the tail end of the previous wave of teen pop when people were tired of musicians they felt were mere puppets. And this song, along with "Complicated" absolutely set the blueprint for the remaining decade of teen pop to come. What an absolutely amazing soaring hook in the chorus. This song defines the confessional sound, and I just honestly don't think there's any teenpop song I'd rather listen to than this one. That chorus just never gets old, and the verses are great too. I also love the guitar sound in this song, and Michelle's voice. Never came close to matching this, despite some other pretty good singles. It's just the seemingly unending repeatability of the song that brings this song over the top to number one. Quite possibly the best single period of the 00's, although I'd be tempted to give that title to "Digital Love" as well.
YouTube: Everywhere

Summary by year:
2000 - 5
2001 - 2
2002 - 1
2003 - 2
2004 - 2
2005 - 4
2006 - 2

Selections centered around 2000 and 2005 which makes sense because they occur at the very peak at their respective waves of teenpop. Notice that the top 3 all come from that 'tweener period between 2001 and 2003, probably coincidence.