Thursday, October 14, 2004

How Do You Get So Awesome Girl?

A few comments before I get into the main post...
Now that the Braves have been eliminated from the playoffs again, I should have more time to post...
New cartoon up on!!!,VIOLENCE
It's called "School House Blues"
"You could get a fine or serve a jail term. Think about it."
In honor of that I would like to repost my two favorite parts of law for kids...
"Tommy, you're permanently expelled."
The old classic, most of you should have seen this, but just in case:
"How am I supposed to get a date, if I can't even drive?"

Okay now the main post:
Over the summer I have made AWESOME SONGS 4. As most of you know, Awesome songs is a series of compilations that I've made that, when taken together, form a pretty good representation of my college career. Here is a song-by-song analysis of Awesome Songs 4:

TRACK 1: The Beets - "Killer Tofu"
This song is from the old Nickelodeon show Doug. pH and I used to love this song...I played this song on my very last radio show and somebody IM'ed the station to tell me to stop playing the "gay music" and play some "real stuff." Anyways, lyrically, musically, this song stands as a classic

TRACK 2: Best Kissers in the World - "They Give Each Other Diseases"
THIS SONG REMINDS ME OF: "Five Seconds of Silence" with Madd Dogg and Slaw Spice
This is a radio station song. I first found this song on one of the CMJ CD's at the station, and I played it (this was when I had the show with Elise, the first incarnation). A lot of you may not know Elise, but let's say that she's a little conservative. Anyways, as you may imagine hilarity ensued because, after all, this is a song about people who give each other sexually transmitted diseases. Unbelievably catch song...Rich and I like this song...

TRACK 3: Li'l Romeo - "My Baby"
"Yeah, I'd like to request a song, it's called 'My Baby' by Li'l Romeo"...I'm listening to this song right now and it's still making me crack up..."I'm a little boy but I live a man's life"...Indeed, as the lead-in to this song implies, I once did karaoke to this song in the Pier, and yes it did rock. In addition to the raps I also sang along to the women's parts in a high voice. Also, I had no idea how the bridge went, so I just recited the words at a random cadence and rhythm and it was awesome...

TRACK 4: Carribean Mass - "Lord I Lift Your Name on High"
Gotta give credit to Steve on this one, since he is the one that downloaded it. This is the song "Lord I Lift Your Name on High" sung by a congregation and backed by a steel drum and horn section...Also they do the Apostle's Creed at the beginning, backed by steel drum and horn section... "Conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Mary (Toot, toot)"...There's not much to say about this song because it really has to be heard to be believed...

TRACK 5: ABC - "Poison Arrow"
Not much to say about this song either, except that JP and I liked it and it's fun to sing along to...the high part of the chorus is so awesome: "Shoot that poison arrow through my heeeeeeeart".

TRACK 6: "Seventh Heaven Theme Song"
THIS SONG REMINDS ME OF: Fantastic Four, second incarnation.
Me, Steve Saul, Elise, and Caroline used to watche reruns of Seventh Heaven every Friday and it was so awesome... Elise would be brought to tears almost every time...this theme song rocks so hard, I love the guitar intro...This would be a good time, I think to discuss Elise and Caroline, for those of you who never had the pleasure of knowing them. They were roommates, inseperable. Elise was the loud, boisterous one and Caroline was the quiet one. However, what we noted about Caroline is that she almost never said anything, but when she did it was always a really awesome comment, like a hilarious statement. Me, Steve, Elise, and Caroline used to hang out all the time and we really complemented each other well. E&C made Steve and I watch all sorts of crap like "You've Got Mail" and "Little Women", and yet we still remained friends with them. By the way, "You've Got Mail" is a terrible movie, sorry E&C.

TRACK 7: The Goons - "The Ying Tong Song"
Unlistenable, but had to be included. One of my friends told me that The Goons were a good band so I went to downoload their songs and came across this...little did I know he was talking about Memphis punk band The Goons, and this song is by English comedy troupe The Goons. This song is so goddamn weird it's almost impossible to describe. It starts out with an operatic aria, then goes into somebody in a weird voice going "Ying Tong". Halfway through it goes back into opera, then it goes into farting voices, then back into opera, then back into "Ying Tongs", then weird sound effects, then "Ying Tong" in really high chipmunk voices.
Yup that's pretty much the song.

TRACK 8: Stump - "Charlton Heston"
THIS SONG REMINDS ME OF: Rich and I trading songs on IM
This is one of the few songs on the Awesome Songs cd's, maybe the only song, that has no inside meaning between me and anybody I went to college with. However, Rich and I used to love this song, we'd listen to it over and over know what this is another incredibly catchy song, the percussion in the song is made by croaking frogs. It's no wonder Rich and I used to love this song. Not much to say about this song either, except that it rules.

TRACK 9: Geoff Moore and the Distance - "Home Run"
Another Elise and Caroline song, they used to love this song. As I like to tell people, this song has four parts...intro, verse, pre-chorus, chorus...each is cheesier than the last, and that's pretty amazing. This song is a metaphor for the Christian life as a game of baseball. Geoff gets to two strikes, man life is getting him down, but then BAM, he hits a home run of life! Honestly, this is the worst Christian rock song I've ever heard and that is a great accomplishment..."We're on the same team, but we're not all the same/that's why we've got to learn to pray together/I'm not on this team to stay on the bench/I'm gonna swing for the fence/I've got some friends on the bases I want to get home" (I'm paraphrasing, but those are honest to God lyrics in this song). The other lyrics are equally horrible.

TRACK 10: La Bouche - "Sweet Dreams"
MLee and I used to love Mid 90's dance songs, and this one is my favorite. Awesome Songs 3 was a CD I made primarily of 90's hits, and starting here there are a few songs that I accidentally left off. Honestly, not much to say about this song either. Also MLee and I made this into a Christian song "Sweet Dreams of Jesus the Savior"

TRACK 11: Michael Bolton - "Go the Distance"
A story for this song...We used to have a Bible Study in the Catholic Campus Ministry. JP only went one time. The one time he went, somebody (to protect their identity I won't say who) brought in this song as a good illustration of the themes presented in the Bible passage. Lyrically, it actually was a pretty decent match, but Oh Lord this is a horrible song. As soon as this song started JP and I looked at each other in silent amazement, and we both were striving as much as possible to avoid laughing. Amazingly we were successful. Also this song has a terrible/awesome 80's metal style guitar solo.

TRACK 12: Harvey Danger - "Flagpole Sitta"
THIS SONG REMINDS ME OF: Whatever summer it came out...I think summer of '99
"I'm not sick but I'm not well, and it's a sin to live so well"...No comment...

TRACK 13: The Murderers - "If You Were My Bitch"
THIS SONG REMINDS ME OF: JP, Dan Gibson, and Adam Weaver
Somebody sent Dan Gibson this song, and he, me and JP would do this song...JP was the guy that sings, Dan Gibson was the guy that raps quickly, and I was Ja Rule...This song is incredibly dirty, JP and I made a clean version "If You Were My Friend, then I'd be your friend too". As for the Adam Weaver part, there's a funny story about that...I was up in Adam's room doing Real Analysis, and JP and Dan Gibson had people over in their room and wanted to do this song (at the time JP's room was right across the hall from Adam's) anyways I go in and do the song, and while we are doing it Adam solves whatever Real Analysis problem we were working on so he comes into JP's room triumphantly holding the dry erase board he was working it out on, and when he sees what we are doing he just holds his head down in shame and walks away...maybe you had to be there, but that rocked.
These are the lyrics in case you are curious. A sample: "People wear this dick"

TRACK 14: Big Punisher - "Still Not a Player"
The clean radio single version. "I'm not a playa I just crush a lot". Again, no comment, but to say that JP and I enjoy this song very much

TRACK 15: Third Eye Blind - "Semi-Charmed Life"
This was a fun song to do in loaded questions because it's funny to hear people sing the really high note at the end of the chorus "Gooodbyyyyyyyye". I can't believe I left this song off AS3, it was a terrible oversight since me, MLee, and pH used to love this song a lot.
Now that i'm thinking of LQ's I'm thinking of some hilarious answers...
"Name two words to describe your lifestyle"--"Homo and Sexual"

TRACK 16: Passion Fruit - "The Rigga Digga Ding Dong Song"
THIS SONG REMINDS ME OF: Catholic Campus Ministry, beginning of Soph. year at its peak
Oh man this was pretty much the theme song of the CCM, maybe the most played song in the Cornerstone (pH and I's room soph. year). This is another song that needs to be heard be be believed. The rap in the middle of this song is the worst rap of all time, no, don't take my word for it, here are the lyrics:
"Rigga Ding Ding Ding/Let me hear you sing/It's like a bell you ring/You see it ain't no thing/It's the ding dong dong/It's the ding dong song/So come on real strong/And you can sing along/Rigga ding ding ding/What a joy it brings/We go all night long/'Til the break of dawn/We go on and on/It's still going strong/Do the rigga digga ding dong song".
I think I'll let that stand on it's own, without comment.

TRACK 17: Aerosmith - "Don't Wanna Miss a Thing"
THIS SONG REMINDS ME OF: Armageddon, what a terrible movie
You know the story by now, no need to comment

TRACK 18: Fastball - "The Way"
This is Mike Lee's least favorite song. Of course he never should have told us that because it pretty much guaranteed it he would hear it a million times his senior year (which he did, by the way). In all honesty though, it is a horrible song. Since I included pH's least favorite song ("She's So High") in AS3, I felt like I had to be fair.
For the record, my least favorite song ("I'll Be Missing You") does not make an appearance

TRACK 19: Henry Hall - "The Teddy Bear Picnic"
I have no idea who Henry Hall is, but I know he sings the Teddy Bear Picnic song like it's the best goddman song of all time, handed down from the Almighty God himself.
"Every bear that ever there was will gather there for certain because today's the day the teddy bears have their piiiicnic"

TRACK 20: Philip Glass - "Knee 5"
THIS SONG REMINDS ME OF: Me, JP, and Martha Murphy
There could be no other song to close out the awesome song series...absolutely no other song at all. As most of you know, one time I was listening to this song when my RA, Will Pelkey, walked in to my room to get me to sign something and it was hilarious. He was like "What in the world are you listening to"...This song was legend in the CCM, creepiest song ever. Martha, JP, and I listened to the entire opera Einstein on the Beach, from which this song is taken (it's over 3 hours long), and it was mindblowing. Man what a bizarre experience that was. The poem in this song rocks. "well you could get some wind for the sailboat, and you could get for it is"

There we go, that's Awesome Songs 4...if you want any of the songs, hit me up on IM and I can let you know what's up. Coming up soon is a companion list, all the songs that got left off the Awesome Song series, and why.