Saturday, September 17, 2005

Real-Time Blogging: Shadow President


In this amazing computer game, you play the president of the United States and deal with foreign policy issues with other countries. Many thanks to my buddy Zack who first told me about this game. The interface of the game is a large map, you click on various countries, and then can do various things, like deal with trade relations, start wars, etc. In this post, I will play a game of Shadow President, giving real-time updates on the status of my game...

2:27 PM - Just spent about 5 minutes going through the crappy intro, which I can't figure out how to skip

2:33 PM - First actions as president: Deployed as many troops as possible into Spain (actually, Andorra agreed to take them up and let me set up my troops alongside the border with Spain), Blocked all trade with Sweden, Instructed the CIA to perform a cout d'etat in Mauritania, and issued an international statement of condemnation against Oman

2:35 PM - Spain has requested an improvement in domestic relations, most likely due to my deployment of troops in Andorra. I have accepted their request, but actually I plan to invade them later on, hopefully tipping off a World War.

2:37 PM - Greenland failed in an attempt to improve domestic relations in Canada, hmmm.

2:38 PM - My Coup D'Etat in Mauritania failed. I have spent the past 5 minutes trying to locate Nauru on the map interface, but have failed. In retaliation, I will attempt to sell arms to rebels in Fiji. However, my statement against Oman was a success.

2:40 PM - Sweet smell of success. Mauritania attempted to sabotage the industrial centers in America, but failed. Then they attempted to issue a statement of condemnation against us but it backfired, "damaging their international credibility." USA! USA! USA!

2:41 PM - I have failed to sell arms to rebels in Fiji, and am growing weary at the incompetence of my CIA.

2:43 PM - I have given most favored nation status to Iraq, and put even more troops in Spain, just to rattle their cages a little bit. Oh yeah, also I'm gonna try to assassinate the leader of Papua New Guinea. Canada and Mexico have been repeatedly performing social activities with each other, improving trade relations, domestic relations, setting up cultural exchanges, etc. throughout the entire game. It makes me think they are up to something.

2:44 PM - Fiji just tried to supply arms to rebels in the USA, but failed. I tried to retaliate, but can't because I can't find it on the crappy game's map any more.

2:48 PM - I have just invaded Spain, in retaliation for Don Mario's 11th grade Spanish class. My Secretary of Defense has resigned in disgust. Pussy. Also, my popularity dropped from 53% to 32%. In addition, I failed to assassinate the leader of Papua New Guinea.

2:49 PM - The leader of Papua New Guinea just attempted, but failed, to assassinate me. American morale is decreasing, I gotta thing of something. I am kicking Spain's ass.

2:52 PM - I have decided to use my extra troops I have around to invade Mexico, thinking an easy victory was forthcoming. USSR has come to the aid of Mexico, "using 3000 troops stationed in Cuba". Given that I am invading Mexico with well over one million troops, I do not consider this to be a material resistance. But still, USSR and Mexico, who knew?

2:54 PM - I just defeated Mexico, in just over one day of game time. Take that Mexico. USSR can't save you now.

2:55 PM - I installed a puppet government in Mexico. Egypt and Morocco keep trying to sabotage each other and condemn each other and what not. I hope this escalates into war.

2:56 PM - The attack on Spain is taking too long, and I fear that I am about to be deposed. I have launched 200 nuclear missiles at them. I killed 31.6 million people, and my press secretary resigned, due to unrelated personal scandals. Actually it doesn't say why she resigned, but I'd like to think that's why.

2:58 PM - "Intelligence has reported that China will not be able to strengthen economic ties with Djibouti" - you can't make this stuff up. Also I have just invaded and deposed the puppet government I set up in Mexico 3 minutes ago.

2:59 PM - Spain has issued a statement of condemnation against my country, understandably, but somehow it backfired. USSR also issued a statement of condemnation that backfired. My popularity rating has dropped to 2%. In an unrelated story, 2% of the American people are nuts.

3:01 PM - Canada and Mexico KEEP performing domestic and economic actions with each other, even though I now own Mexico. The game must be stuck in a loop or something.

3:02 PM - I was just assassinated. Oh well, I led a good life. No regrets.

If you would like to download this amazing game, please go to The possibilities in this game are virtually limitless.